Hmm... What's next?

Recently,

The military has been on the brain. [Air force to be exact]...

[... This... is odd.
I thought about it once before for like a second... maybe 5... and NEVER again. I was like "Naaaahhhh... nope, not fa me." ]

I've lived the military lifestyle. And, while it is for some, it isn't for me. I've just had my fill. Nothing against it. It's just like I said, it isn't for me... just not a preference. I want a different lifestyle... a "normal" lifestyle. I, of all people, don't throw normal around like that, but to keep things short, it'll suffice. I'm sure people know what I'm getting at. I don't want to live on base anymore. I want to live in a city. In a regular house, or apartment. I would prefer to skip the BDUs as my regular work attire. Really, I just don't want to live on base or in base housing any longer. Everything else would be workable I suppose. I also don't want to move around every 5 years.

That being said...

I want my own place. I want a steady income. I want to finish my education and not have to be burdened by the stress of paying for my classes while trying to concentrate on them. I also don't want to depend on my mom to pay for them. I want to be proactive.

The military can get me all of those things, but it requires some compromise from myself.

Also, (side note)... During basic training, I don't want to have to shower in the open, with other females. I would prefer my goodies remain unseen (lolz) by anyone other than myself, and my future hubby... and I don't mean a bf... I'm talkin' HUSBAND stat yo. :D

Anywho... I go back and forth with the idea. I would only plan on staying in for the four years so that I could pay and get my GI Bill for college as well as be able to get on my feet and be able to get a good job when I got out. If I get married, I won't have to worry about where to live and how to pay for it, it would be taken care of.

Only thing I fear...

Is that I'll become complacent with getting that steady income and stay in longer. This means that I won't be following on with what I really love to do: art. I would be settling for money and security's sake. I want to do only what God has purposed me to... actually...

I guess that would be the answer hm?

So God, I put it in Your hands. I'm not going to worry about it anymore. Yeah, I want this and that, but I want what You want/have for me more. If You lead me to the military for a season as purely a step, then that is where I will step. If not, and I have to hold off on all that I want for a minute, then so be it. I WILL wait for You. I know that Your plan far exceeds anything I could even attempt to come up with as a solution or future. Your plan, alone, will fulfill me. And I do know that God. I do. I just forget sometimes when I get distracted with impatience. Father help me to stay patient. I know You got me. <3

iight fam...

That's all para today.

Just thought I'd express my thoughts.

Be Blessed mmk Pumpkins? (and by pumpkins I mean readers lolz)

God is Love and all that you need. Trust.

Photo by B aka Me

Model: Tyrell Scott

This is just a side note for me so nobody has to read further...

[While this is on my mind... Ima just write it down as a reminder.

WAIT B! Until you get an answer, DO NOT... I repeat, DO NOT MOVE. You will regret it. Whatever door "by some chance" opens (it's not just some chance, there's an assignment), if you do not get a answer from God... Don't move! Don't think that it is your only chance. God is your source... your windows of opportunity are in Him. Don't forget that. Kapeesh?!]

Ladies: You Are More!

(Dialogue between God and me.) :: Inspired By The Father (God)

You are more

You are more than your thighs...
So lovely in tact.
You are more than your curves
In the front and the back!

You are more than your lips,
Which I've perfected jus rite.
You are more than your smile,
And it shines o so bright!

You are more than the sway,
And the roll of your hips
And the depth of your mind...
Still you are more than this!

You are more than your hair,
And your eyes what a set!
You are more than your shape,
Such a lovely silhouette.

You are more than your laugh,
Which is much to my delight.
Father more than all this?
I am more in your sight?

Am I more than negatives,
To which I often take heed?
You are more than the curses.
So much more indeed!

Am I more than my faults...
Than the flaws in my shade?
Child there is no imperfection.
You were wonderfully made!

You are more than your assets,
And your skin...what a tone!
O how you radiate!
Still you're more than beauty alone.

Am I more than my strength,
And my weakness the same?
Am I more than disappointments...
More than my guilt and my shame?

Am I more than my worry?
Am I more than my doubt?
Babygurl dont you hear me?
You have nothing to worry about!

Am I more___
You are more than your heart...
So much more than your soul.
You are more than achievments.
You are more than your goals.

You are more than your past,
Full of forgotten mistakes.
You are more than the regrets
That you can't seem to shake.

You are more than the opinions,
And foul comments of man.
Please don't let that shape u.
You must understand...

They don't see your worth...
Who I've created you to be.
Searching is above you.
Leave the match making to me!

Now the I husband made for you...
Trust, with him you'll be pleased.
To me he is devoted.
So he'll see wut I see.

"Your worth is far above rubies...
More than your weight in gold"
This is wut he'll say.
He listens to what he's told.

Still you're more than all this,
Cuz when everything's passed...
You're still my heart!
And that's something that lasts!

Photo by B aka Me

Model: Tierra Scott

What are you searching for?

If God is a God of comfort...our Prince of Peace...our source of joy...strength...fulfilment...

satisfaction, etc., then WHY when we're in need of those things do we search for comfort, peace, strength, fulfillment, joy, satisfaction???? We do not have those things because they come along with Christ! We must seek God FIRST and then all those things shall be added. HELLO Britt!...Illumination!...[Praise and glory to God]

Now I know that scripture is talking about us worrying about what we will eat or wear [in its words] BUT... I am talking about God knowing our needs, whatever they may be. Whether it is food, clothing, or comfort. Everything we need is in Christ, so draw nearer to Him. OR learn the hard way as I did and seek everything you need (and/or want) instead. Do not be surprised with what you end up with... Nada. Further, just to reiterate my point (and be redundant), if you are wanting to get in shape, do you just look up how to do it and expect results? No, that would be stupid. So why do we do that with Jesus? Our interest should be in Him, TRUSTING that His interest is in us, and in turn, knowing that He knows what we need and will take care of it.

We need Christ, and nothing else. If people would stop searching for relief from their troubles and just seek God, they would have fulfillment. Believe that.

And when I say seek God, I mean spending time with Him. Through His word is one way. This is not to find anything substantial dealing with your current situations. It is just taking time out to devote to Him. Forget about your problems. Forget about everything for just a moment out of your day and delight yourself in the Lord. Tell Him that you love Him, and just read. Just read to read and to hear and learn and be enlightened and you will be delighted... in God.

I am just now realizing all of this. I had been doing everything that I am stressing everyone not to do and was getting nowhere. I wanted fulfillment, peace, joy, comfort, separation from all my heartache and stress and got none of it... because I was looking for it. I praise God for this illumination because life for me was looking very hopeless and depressing. It is easier to come by these days what with all the tragedy in the world. I was just looking at everything thinking gosh... what a horrible place we have to live in. I wanted to numb myself from everything. I wanted to separate myself from anyone that I've ever loved [including my family] and could ever possibly love because I didn't want to ever feel what I am feeling right now again. But I can't do that.

There are some things in your life that will cause you pain and you will not be happy. BUT, joy is still possible because it isn't happiness. What I said before, if anyone noticed, was pertaining to the subject. It is to be careful not to become distracted, from your joy, with your happiness. Trust me it makes sense (if you're wondering). Happiness is determined by your circumstances. Money, cars, clothes, women or men... all of that can bring you happiness... but it is temporal. Joy is not. Joy is of the Lord. It is your strength to get through when your happenings don't bring you happiness.

So how can you become distracted from joy with happiness? It is easier than you think. People do it everyday. Their dreams, aspirations, and desires are consumed by it. People seek the natural and material because it is advertised to them. It is made to look like something to be sought after but please do not be fooled. All of the advertisements, music videos, and episodes of cribs, in their abundance, will not be able to cover up the lie for too much longer.

What I wrote about delighting yourself in the Lord before... the fulfillment you get from that is, I believe to be, far beyond anything money can bring you for a time, whether it is a brief moment, or a major part of your life. It does end, for some, worse than others. One can only hope that it ends while they are still alive and can receive the wake up call. And what is more with God is that His love is never failing- this will fill and fully satisfy... The joy that comes from the Father is ever-lasting... and will strengthen you... and hold you... and keep you eternally. That's FOREVER.

Anyways... I won't hold any body up any longer if they've gotten to the end.

Love u Fam

Be Blessed!

God is love!

-Britt