The military has been on the brain. [Air force to be exact]...
[... This... is odd.
I thought about it once before for like a second... maybe 5... and NEVER again. I was like "Naaaahhhh... nope, not fa me." ]
I've lived the military lifestyle. And, while it is for some, it isn't for me. I've just had my fill. Nothing against it. It's just like I said, it isn't for me... just not a preference. I want a different lifestyle... a "normal" lifestyle. I, of all people, don't throw normal around like that, but to keep things short, it'll suffice. I'm sure people know what I'm getting at. I don't want to live on base anymore. I want to live in a city. In a regular house, or apartment. I would prefer to skip the BDUs as my regular work attire. Really, I just don't want to live on base or in base housing any longer. Everything else would be workable I suppose. I also don't want to move around every 5 years.
That being said...
I want my own place. I want a steady income. I want to finish my education and not have to be burdened by the stress of paying for my classes while trying to concentrate on them. I also don't want to depend on my mom to pay for them. I want to be proactive.
The military can get me all of those things, but it requires some compromise from myself.
Also, (side note)... During basic training, I don't want to have to shower in the open, with other females. I would prefer my goodies remain unseen (lolz) by anyone other than myself, and my future hubby... and I don't mean a bf... I'm talkin' HUSBAND stat yo. :D
Anywho... I go back and forth with the idea. I would only plan on staying in for the four years so that I could pay and get my GI Bill for college as well as be able to get on my feet and be able to get a good job when I got out. If I get married, I won't have to worry about where to live and how to pay for it, it would be taken care of.
Only thing I fear...
Is that I'll become complacent with getting that steady income and stay in longer. This means that I won't be following on with what I really love to do: art. I would be settling for money and security's sake. I want to do only what God has purposed me to... actually...
I guess that would be the answer hm?
So God, I put it in Your hands. I'm not going to worry about it anymore. Yeah, I want this and that, but I want what You want/have for me more. If You lead me to the military for a season as purely a step, then that is where I will step. If not, and I have to hold off on all that I want for a minute, then so be it. I WILL wait for You. I know that Your plan far exceeds anything I could even attempt to come up with as a solution or future. Your plan, alone, will fulfill me. And I do know that God. I do. I just forget sometimes when I get distracted with impatience. Father help me to stay patient. I know You got me. <3
That's all para today.
Just thought I'd express my thoughts.
Be Blessed mmk Pumpkins? (and by pumpkins I mean readers lolz)
God is Love and all that you need. Trust.
Photo by B aka Me
Model: Tyrell Scott
This is just a side note for me so nobody has to read further...
[While this is on my mind... Ima just write it down as a reminder.
WAIT B! Until you get an answer, DO NOT... I repeat, DO NOT MOVE. You will regret it. Whatever door "by some chance" opens (it's not just some chance, there's an assignment), if you do not get a answer from God... Don't move! Don't think that it is your only chance. God is your source... your windows of opportunity are in Him. Don't forget that. Kapeesh?!]